It's the (not so) little things

I'm in the middle of reading Slavenka Drakulic's fascinating memoir of growing up in Communist Yugoslavia, "How We Survived Communism and Even Laughed."

If I ever teach 20th century political history, I will assign this book for its central, potent, and utterly irrefutable observation: any regime that cannot, will not, or does not care to make any feminine hygiene products whatsoever available to its populace is doomed. Call it the tampon theory of historical determinism. While I cannot speak to what goes on in North Korea (which is arguably a more thoroughly totalitarian state than any in the former Soviet Bloc ever were), I think this is a crucial point that hammers home just how much central planning sucks in practice, even at its best.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 6

Bleatage

This is from a couple days ago, but I always enjoy a good Michael Moore bitchslap. Better than average banner image, as an added bonus.

My favorite aunt and my mom went to see the film last weekend. My dear mother is liberal, and my aunt very liberal. Neither were terribly impressed with the quality of the reasoning in this little bit of black propaganda. Yet fatso is staring at me from the cover of two major magazines in the supermarket. I should be so lucky.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 1

Perfidious Strategic Planning Conference

My already light posting habits will be further reduced, as the Buckethead clan heads north to the birhplace of liberty, Massachusetts. Or was that the birthplace of witchburning? I can never get that straight. There, we will join with Johno, and hopefully Geeklethal for a convivial evening of drunken excess, world takeover planning, and maybe some vegetarian food. Johno and his lovely wife will no doubt have a full itinerary of educational, instructional and enlightening activities laid on board as well.

In other news, I may soon rejoin the working week. More on this potentially kickass job later, but my return to the world of regular schedules should also herald the return of regular posting habits. Be warned!

A brief political note: my favorite aunt says that John Edwards is cute, and this will be the controlling factor in the election. I hereby renounce all connection to conservatism, and the GOP; and will henceforth only vote for those candidates approved by Aunt Susie. (But Susie, what if they're both ugly?)

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 1

*I'm your private writer, writing for mo-ho-ney*

Posting has been light recently thanks to *actual work* and actual *freelance writery,* though not of the paying kind despite my too-clever-by-half headline.

Will usual volume resume shortly? Who cares!

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 0

Reap:Sow

The archdiocese of Portland, OR is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection under the weight of $160M in lawsuits over child molestation by priests.

Bad idea, I think. Back at the height of its own scandal, the Boston AD considered doing the same, but chose not to for two good reasons: 1) everyone gets to see your private records, and 2) just how is it gonna look when plaintiffs in child abuse suits have to go to the back of the line of creditors? Will that make you seem more, or less concerned with the well-being of your congregation and Church?

Ugly, ugly, ugly.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 4

Jim, ya canna' change the laws of aging!

Actually, that's just a horribly tasteless headline to note the sad news that James Doohan, Mr. Scott, of Star Trek fame has been diagnosed with alzheimers. Why do I even post this? Because getting old scares the living hell out of me. I live in my mind and dread above all else the possibility that my memories and creativity may one day be stolen from me without my even knowing. I don't care for things, for stuff, which is good because at this rate I'm never going to have any stuff anyway, but I DO care about the life of the mind. That's why my wife looks at me funny when she finds out that one of the boxes we schlepped all the way to Massachusetts contains nothing but my notebooks from high school-- chem notes, Spanish, doodles, unfinished stories, all useless crap that I'll never need again. But that box and the others like it are my brain's offsite storage, making room in the active brain space for useful things: the rules to Advanced Dungeons and Dragons 1st Edition. All the words to Monty Python's "Philosophers' Song." The causes and outcomes of The Whiskey Rebellion. The recipe for Godzilla Punch. What am I without these things?

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 3

Baby, If You've Ever Wondered...

Wondered, whatever became of other dorks who had to secretly pine for Bailey because you just knew Jennifer would break your heart and she was so fake anyway but saw that Travis could have bagged Bailey whenever he wanted but she dug Fever and besides Travis was Mr. Carlson's boy toy....

Um, someone started a new WKRP blog here.

Posted by GeekLethal GeekLethal on   |   § 3

A perfect solution

Fafnir does some Monday-morning quarterbacking of Kerry's VP pick.

It's a great idea... Fafnir's choice is strong on defense, stands up for the little guy, and a successful businessman to boot. Who is it?

A Kerry-Batman ticket would be sure to win everybody but hardcore social conservatives and superstitious and cowardly lots. Batman brings his tough-on-crime stance a lot of bipartisan credentials and a surprisingly strong Latino support, plus he has some innovative ideas on tort reform. With his years of opposition to the evil Ra's al Ghul Batman has a lot of counterterrorism experience, plus his tenure with the Justice League makes him an ideal internationalist. Now I know the big drawbacks to Batman are always (1) he is a big Republican (2) he is kind of a crazy hawk an (3) he doesnt exist but I really think Kerry coulda made it work if he threw him somethin in the platform like extra funding for security in Arkham Asylum which we totally need anyway, what is up with that place the Joker escapes like once a month.

Well, I've always kind of thought that Dan Quayle didn't exist, and that worked out fine for Bush The Elderest, not to mention that asylum issues seem to actually help VPs-- Spiro Agnew, John C. Calhoun, and Hannibal Hamlin all were asylum escapees, and Cheney currently runs an asylum. Fafnir's problems with Batman aside, I don't think I could in good conscience vote a Kerry/Batman ticket. I've always been something of a Marvel man, myself.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 1

(Slow-moving and creaky) death from above!

Fred Kaplan writes in Slate about the logistical issues that coulda-- but did'na-- derailed the US military's Iraq invasion you may have heard something about last year. Kaplan details problems with spare parts, medical supplies, soldiers going hungry for want of MREs, motor pools scavenging oil and gas from Iraqi military vehicles, and more. His information is drawn from a 500-page report commissioned by the Pentagon and subsequently buried for fertilizer. (Not really... it's just that it's hard to find, not available for print or filesave, and rather discursive).

A Kaplan highlight:

"Literally every" commander in the 3rd Infantry Division—the Army unit that swept up the desert to Baghdad—told the study group that, without more spare parts, "he could not have continued offensive operations for another two weeks."

And another from the report itself, in the section discussing the 507 Maintenence Company (remember Jessica Lynch?)

None of this is a problem if the 507th is a singular example of a poorly equipped, poorly trained and poorly led unit. Nor is it a problem if the Army expects to operate with clear demarcation between "front" and "rear." If, however, the 507th is indicative of an Armywide problem in training, equipping, and manning CS and CSS units, and if the Army expects to operate in a nonlinear, noncontiguous operational environment, Army leaders may need to examine everything from culture to equipment in CS and CSS units. Equally important, the Army should examine any concept that envisions operations in nonlinear and noncontiguous battlespace to determine how forces should be manned and equipped to operate in the so-called white spaces and on LOCs. Assuming that technical means of surveillance will protect those units may not be justified. The culture and expectation in the Army should be, to borrow a phrase from the Marines, that every soldier is a rifleman first, and every unit fights.

The part that really frosts my biscuits is this quote, pulled by Kaplan:

The A10s were absolutely fantastic. It's my favorite airplane. … You can move, and when that A10 starts his strafing run, you can do anything you want to do … because the bad guy's head is not coming off the hard deck."

That's an infantry commander talking about the A10 warthog, the only plane in the US arsenal intended for ground support. But what about the Army's fancy AH-64 Apache attack copter? Well...the report sez

The day closed with the 11th Attack Helicopter Regiment's unsuccessful deep attack against the Medina Division near Karbala. There, the regiment lost two aircraft (one to hostile fire), had two aviators captured, and saw literally every AH-64 Apache helicopter come back riddled with holes. Worse, the targeted Medina units remained relatively unscathed from the attack. The Army's vaunted deep-strike attack helicopters appeared to have been neutralized by the Iraqi air defense tactics.

Of course, the A10 is still the redheaded stepchild of our Air Defense, because the Air Force doesn't care to get down where handheld fire can hit their planes. Kaplan notes about the Apache and Warthog,

These two points are remarkable, in two ways. First, here we have a team of Army officers criticizing the attack helicopter—the Army's own weapon of air support—while gushing over the Air Force's weapon. Second, the A-10 scarcely exists anymore. The Air Force, which never wanted to build it in the first place, stopped production in the mid-1980s and would have melted them down to scrap metal had they not performed so well in the 1991 Gulf War.

For all the vaunted technology and great toys our military has, many institutional problems remain that keep us from being, erm, all we can be.

[wik] Goodwyfe Johno saw a report last week on the Patriot Missile system, which apparently sucks all ass. SOP for Patriot operators was to run to mash the "abort" button every time a Patriot wound up to launch automatically, because almost every time the Patriot was either targeting an F-16 or nothing at all. In the end, they became worse than useless because the fully automated system doesn't really allow time for manual vetting of targets. A CBS news report argues that in Gulf I, only 2 out of 44 Patriots actually hit an incoming missile. Most of the others just exploded in the sky, missing their targets (when they actually were targeting a real object). According to Ed Bradley, in Gulf II, "The Patriot had 12 engagements in this war, three of them with our own planes." Yeesh.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 4